I am not sure how exactly to tell my story. I suppose it begins with the birth of my first daughter five years ago…which was a positive experience but left me really damaged. I was induced by having my waters broken, things were going really well, I had my epidural and was fully dilated in 5 hours. I started pushing and after about 40 minutes the head started to come. I am not sure what happened but I tore really really badly. My daughter was born and I was taken to the theatre to get fixed up. I had quite severe injury.
I was not going to have another baby but after talking to my doctor and friends I realised that what had happened to me was not common. I was delighted to find myself pregnant last year!!!!!
It all felt so different from the first time – I was relaxed and happy and had a warm glow and excitement that I didn’t get the first time.
All through my pregnancy I toyed with the idea of how I wanted my baby’s birth to happen. I was terrified of tearing again and got a lot of information and support from my consultant. My consultant told me that they would prefer that I have a vaginal birth but after my injury the last time that they fully understood if I chose to have a Caesarean section. At 35 weeks I had decided. I requested a Caesarean and my consultant told me at 39 weeks I would be given a date.
At my 39 week appointment I was told to come in that Thursday for my Caesarean! It was a really weird feeling to ‘know’ the day I would have my baby. I knew we were having another girl also so I did feel that all the ‘surprises’ of the pregnancy were lost…it did feel a bit strange. But I was so relaxed and for the first time in a long time, the nightmares and feelings from my first daughter’s birth were gone.
On Thursday morning I went in with my husband and we went through the paperwork and waited for a room to become available. I had to wait longer than expected due to an emergency Caesarean and I admit it gave my nerves time to kick in a little bit!
When the time came we all went in. It was so different to being in a delivery suite! All the nurses and doctors were so relaxed and we were all chatting and having the craic. My husband came in and then my consultant. Everyone started smiling..I couldn’t see their mouths but you could tell by their eyes and my consultant said “Are you ready to meet your baby?” I welled up a little bit and gulped back “Yep!”
After a few minutes with some pulling my beautiful girl was born! We had a name picked out for her but it didn’t suit her at all! So we asked the room “Anyone know any nice girl’s names?” – It was such a laugh!!
I know its not for everyone but I am 100% positive I made the best decision for me to choose a Caesarean.
My husband took my daughter for her first bath while I went to the recovery. It all felt so different from the first time – I was relaxed and happy and had a warm glow and excitement that I didn’t get the first time. I went down to the ward shortly after and the first image I remember was my husband cooing to my new baby. He looked up and saw me and said “there’s mammy” and then helped me to the bed.
The Coombe were brilliant. The midwives helped me a lot the first night and even took the baby for a little while as it was really quiet. They also made sure I had a supply of formula close by so I didn’t have to get up or move about much. I recovered really quickly – much more so than the first.
I know its not for everyone but I am 100% positive I made the best decision for me to choose a Caesarean. Any further children will be born the same way, please God.
Oh – and her name… well didn’t we end up naming her after one of the nurses! We loved her name so much we decided to use it!
I hope this helps other mams who might be in the same situation. I was so scared of a Caesarean but in the end it was the best option for me.
Very best to all the preggy mams out there!
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